Self disrespect

Let me touch on self esteem just from experience,  I have been reading about having respect for yourself by creating boundaries..wow the many times I have disrespected myself 狼 and sometimes I think to myself,,its not disrespect, there is something inadequate about me that makes me think I should humble myself and not speak up because I don’t have the right,,it could be an insecurity, a lack of keeping up with your peers, appearance, money strain, or a flaw you highly regard as an excuse or a pass to be treated a certain way..
I feel like many times that is how I have been categorising the lack of boundaries..like yeah maybe I allow someone to say this or do this because in my past I failed or I am not eloquent enough so if someone pushes me ..I kinda get it..but its wrong..
I just realised recently that it’s a toxicity with myself that I’ve tolerated for so long..it makes me feel like shit coz I can’t turn back time..but I guess the idea is to relearn ways to respect yourself despite who you are..sometimes we can be in a place where we don’t recognise that because the situations life has dealt us make us believe we don’t deserve any better.. because we believe its already a decided print ..of how our future will unravel
It would require a journey of constant reflection, healing and self work to change such a perception. And it’s not easy but even little intentional steps go along way ..if someone constantly reminds you be it at home, work place, whatever social setting that you don’t amount to anything, it’s easy to store that information until it rests comfortably in your subconscious until it shows in how you show respect to yourself…or even how others should treat you..there’s an energy one (well, I) give off and yeah I guess some people are empathetic enough to understand and just let you be until you feel like you deserve to believe in yourself again …but most times it’s those that usually sense that energy and find a way to drown you with it..and it starts slowly..the uncomfortable laugh after something piercing is said..you are not supposed to laugh or grin…its hurtful!
Well I could write a book about these situations coz am guilty af 
Nway, some healing statements for you if you are on this disrespect trail(no judgement)
You are human and you belong here ♥
Being here on earth is enough ❤
There is no qualification to gain or be respected by anyone/ your past events should not be a basis for how they should respect you. .❤
We are all a work in progress .
We all make mistakes..
Life is a journey of healing and renewal …not judgement and discrimination. .
You will always matter and only you can truly identify with that ❤❤❤
Nway, that’s it
Have a great weekend
Lorna