Am not a person who likes confronting situations. I hate having to argue or deal with a situation where the conversation sounds tense or there is just a hostile negative energy to it. I think it has something to do with past negative experiences especially in relationships where healthy communication is not registered. I am a vending seller and I do try to sell my jewellery to earn some income to sustain myself and also feel confident about my skills and put my work out there. Today morning I arranged my allocated space and settled. We are usually arranged in different slots within the allocated space based on a first come first served basis. Where I am is where another girl was but she left and closed for the holidays. I took up her spot because last time I was arranged in a poor strategic spot so it made sense. She came late five days later and told me to move out of her spot. She has always been kind polite but sometimes am able to tell when someone is pretending especially in business. I usually display a soft personality that is kind and try to avoid conflict at all times. I don’t recommend anyone to follow through with that because it has its own set of negative set of consequences. People rake advantage of being nice. And many times I have found myself being disrespected and suffering in silence when someone is not fair towards me. Its an oppressive vibe. To be honest, am not a perfect person and am not trying to be but there is this need to keep the peace and not bring myself to a place where I have to cause emotional turmoil to my soul. The ideal is to work through my emotions and learn how to effectively communicate when I feel like I have something to say. Anyway, back to the girl…I surprisingly refused. I told her I cannot move my business just because she was here before. It is not anyone’s spot. I tried to be kind about it but deep down I was feeling so worked up. I was so angry at how I allowed people in the past to walk over me and it kept replaying as I was responding to her. The betrayal of her thinking she can play with “meek personality ” to get what she wants? Tf? I played cool and eventually she left and arranged for herself another setup. I think she thought she would bully me..hmm. am proud to say not this time. 👏 I thank myself for standing up for once. I didn’t care that she’d like me or hate me. Its a business. I ain’t your sister girl.. as much as heart was racing I did it. I respected myself…if you struggle with conflict, I understand its not easy to get to that place. For each step you take, encourage yourself so that you build a morale to create boundaries. I took back some of my dignity that had been taken away in all those negative instances. At the end of the day the progressive steps to creating boundaries make you have so much respect for yourself as a person..cheers to more courage.
lornawaweru art 