In my mental health journey now that I think about it there is that part where I felt like what was weighing me down was the energy of what was said about me in a negative light. Lately, it just feels like maybe it’s more of how I allowed my brain to internalise and as a result become negative and toxic towards myself ..and it’s probably easier to deal in that manner because it wont hurt as much when faced by the reality. I think i used it as a crutch because then i don’t have to do the work of feeling and acknowledging the pain associated with that. The work would also involve me unlearning the negative words planted in me. And sometimes it feels like a lot because you have to convince yourself you’re not stupid, incapable, useless, you name it. You would like to believe you’re not but the intensity of which the words keep being fed inside you makes it difficult.
It brings up a battle of believing the negative impact vs what you’re supposed to believe.
I now believe its one of those challenges that’s meant to train your self awareness and thick skin. So messed up if you ask me but if its how am going to learn then one is left with no choice.
If one is lucky enough to have healed and have this realisation and changed perspective, their futures are definitely secured..not only moneywise but also mentally and spiritually.
The negative noise is an inevitable occurence as long as each of us exists in this imperfect world of ours. And I guess its my responsibility to train my mind to unlearn all the negative influences or experiences I have had in my life.
I am sure it feels like you are supposed to know this but there’s a way the negative conditioning cripples that possibility.
But now that i know it once again, acknowledge it in my soul, i feel good about what impact it will give me and you who have read this…
Let’s love our human selves. Stop putting expectations as a mark for conditionally loving and honoring yourself. Carry yourself with love. You are a gem. Not because of what you have but your existence is enough print . We all are.
If God’s love for you is immeasurable, who are you to start hating on yourself?
I love you. I love me. Take care 🙂 💕
lornawaweru art 