They were fussing about it. “what personality are you?” “are you an extrovert, introvert..so on (other hard terms that describe personalities)”
I stared blankly and confused and smiled like I was familiar with the answer then I shyly looked away.
“yeah, you must be an introvert” for a moment it felt like I had been placed to some belonging..I didn’t know what was going on so this was homework for me to do some research.
So, I looked it up on Google, and was like, “makes sense now”
It felt good to know that what I was associated with was normal. Some people have a lot to say and others don’t. You know…but my introversion reached a point where I would deny myself the opportunity to express stuff untill I forgot how to be, feel and let out.
At that point, you think keeping to yourself will make things easier and won’t cause any harm. Shock on me.
I lost potential friendships because of that. People do take it personally when they approach you and it appears like you are not reciprocating.
Sometimes, I think introversion takes away most of your energy that should be for learning outside your own little world. Instead, it’s just you..you..you.
That’s how it was and sometimes still is for me. Truth is, you will learn and experience more if you include people in your life. But if you don’t get out of your walls, you are likely to feel stagnant. I hate that feeling. Bores me to death. I think that’s what made me slowly come out of that situation. Like I said, “slowly”. It’s not an easy process. In fact, after facing a crowd of social beings and tolerating that experience, I usually just want to run somewhere and take a quiet break. Am still yet to discover why and report it on the blog if I find an answer.
Sometimes I think people love the opportunity to get out and show and prove something. Others want to prove they are the same or have a better presentation of themselves in order to achieve or gain something..could be an opportunity or a new experience.
Well, me,…um…I just want to feel and see if the energy I observe aligns with the energy I think I have. If it doesn’t, I don’t want to impose or conflict with my indifference. But thats just me.
However, as I grow older, I start realizing that it really doesn’t matter. People are just social beings and that’s what they do and that has nothing to do with me. I think that statement has helped me a lot in learning to be open.
I remember at school recently I was being approach by five people I didn’t know and I was reallly trying to keep up with conversation. Though it reached a minute where in my head I was like, ” am exhausted and I need personal space”. Luckily, after a few minutes, they were gone.
However, I did applaud myself for engaging in a conversation. It’s hard, especially when you don’t trust your ability to catch up. But so what?
Yeah, so what. I think my solution was and still is not to judge myself harshly.
Besides, you will never know untill you try.
You should not care about what people think but instead, you should allow yourself to be free. Be who you are. Feel liberated to express yourself. I tried a few times and I tell you the feeling is more than a billion dollars.
“but people will think am weird”
But again, so what?
Is that worth imprisoning yourself?
I think you should give people exactly what is inside of you without ” tryna act cute”. If you get a contradictory response, then you just know they ain’t right for you and you’ll find the company that fits perfectly as you go along the way.
You have to also remember, ” it’s never that serious”
You will meet people but they won’t have to be attached to you for the rest of your life. Some appear for a specific purpose in your life or in theirs then you never see them again and you move on to the next.
Introversion is normal. It exists. I mean hallo! (waving) it’s still stuck with me.
However, I think you can adjust it to a way it won’t make you lose but rather give you opportunities of learning something new.
Yeah, I used it as a crutch to prevent me from opening up. But as I live more, you start realizing that life is an opportunity in itself. Not many have it and tonnes of people lose it. And what is the meaning of life if you are just stagnant! Of course there is a chance of doing better!! Don’t kill yourself because you can’t talk!!!
Just give yourself a chance, a benefit of the doubt..You know..
Remember, even in your flaws, as long as. You are yourself, you are far much beautiful than one who tries to imitate others or deny himself the opportunity.
#Don’t let introversion be a crutch
#Add a little twist and excitement..
#Don’t let introversion make you feel dead or stagnant
# if it’s stuck with you, balance it with something different.
lornawaweru art 