Do you ever have bad days? they come just when you previously had a happy day or a moment that brought you bliss… It keeps happening to me but I am not here to feel bad about it..am here to express and understand the situation and try to make sense of it.
Is it that bad situations or a string of bad luck follows one for a reason? I dont know. Gone are the days when we are faced with challenges and then follows a reason to complain and complain…In fact I refuse to do that.. it becomes exhausting..because you will try and complain and rant but no solution to a response will avail.
Although ranting about the situation is not a bad thing. Its a way of expressing how you feel about the situation. And recent psychology encourages people to allow themselves to feel or be in a vulnerable state in order to cope effectively. However, sometimes we can get caught up in that negative energy and as a result it destroys the bigger picture of moving forward.
How about when a bad outcome keeps resulting. Do you start feeling like the world disregards you and shut yourself out? Personally, I used to do that but am currently learning how to get out of my own world by acknowledging that shit can happen. I still struggle with that sometimes and want to find reasons why stuff is not working out..
“is it me”
“am I not deserving enough of good outcome”
But then I realize by doing this, I am creating a trap of shutting myself in a negative space of which becomes hard to get out because you start becoming self-obsessed with negative thoughts.
It is like one incident makes you feel dark…like completely stripped off the light. Sometimes even when the light shows up, you want to shut down because you are not used to creating that positive atmosphere in accepting good things to happen in your life.
wow. Now that I have just written that I feel like I can relate. Now I realize I have been doing that and it is up to me to alter my thought process when faced by challenging situations in life.
Sometimes the stream of negative thoughts remove that positive environment from your headspace. For example, when people complement me, I first tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable about it because it is not registered in my headspace that something good can come from me.
So a good compliment becomes like a discomfort trigger in your head space but in your soul it feels uplifting.
Could that be how mediocrity exists?
Where you feel like you are not capable. Not because you cannot do it. Of course you can achieve whatever is set before you. But deep down somewhere there is always this voice saying, “nope”. You cannot. Dont. You cannot handle the intensity of light from that”
And in no time, or a lot of time, you realize you have wasted your whole life based on that mind trap.
It scary. It can be anything. Any aspect of your life. As long as it something good presented to you. Whether it is a minor thing. Talking down your abilities or attempts. because of those events that you fail to forgive yourself for or a circumstance where you’ve experienced bullying or toxic/abusive situations .The crazy part is that you probably dont even need forgiveness or approval from your past
because it was soo petty but your mindspace decided to lie to you and tell you how much damage you have done..its crazy…am talking from experience as it happens oftenly to me.
Then come three or a few more years later and look back at the mistakes or progress you made and its like, “damn, I wasted myself in my head space”
From this, I realize that life is a learning curve and it cannot head only upwards..It should create a curve of ups and downs. Its about making a beautiful journey of art. The imperfections direct you to your perfections.
I know it can get challenging to follow through with a positive mindset as we live in a judgemental society in which anonymous individuals decide to define perfection as the only way to existence and survival. I say anonymous because although these individuals exist, no one is perfect. So I guess they blindly exist.
But morale of the story. Despite the downfall, look forward..keep walking. that is what it is all about. Tell yourself you deserve better even when you feel like crap. Testify good things in your life even when your mind space doesnt agree.
Coach your mind to be positive. To stop creating a prison of your capacity. Then and then you will fly. even whe oil is spilled on your wings. you will flap the shit out of the misery and fly away to broader destinations of chance and opportunity
Self Talk. Hope it inspires you too
Lorna Waweru
lornawaweru art 